Tuesday, March 24, 2009

grieving another lost of.....

it's been a long while i havent blog about some
not-so-sweet-things that happened to me.
my life has been great all these while.
this kind of feeling best metaphored by something
like this--->
"while im starting to masticate the sweetness of citrus,
i accidently bite on its bitter seeds..and the taste of it all went wrong
in that spur of moment."

i am totally devastated these days.
misplacing something i shouldnt have lost,
something indispensable.
something vital
something exigent.
or whatever you called it urgent.

i searched and hunted all over the place but to no avail.
tears and grumble, comfort of love ones were of no help
in easing the pain and guilt i have now.
that thing was so damn important to me.
or, i should say to everyone else especially to me.

i need it urgently.
really (teeth grinding~~~)

can my prayers be heard and thus find back that precious thing?
i dreamt of it for several nights.
i thought.. it should be somewhere here,
no.. it should be placed there...im not sure.

my nerves already got my brain, to create certain
unwanted illusions, false memories related to that thing.
m losing my sanity... i suppose.

is the power of "the law of attraction" omnipotent enough to bring
back that lost object of mine?
sorry to those who care.
it's not that i dont want to stand up again on my feet
and move on instead of squatting on the same position i fell,
mourning, and groaning about the lost and pain i had.
it's just that..

it's not easy for me.

it's not easy to be.. me.


nagaxy said...

* hugs *

Anonymous said...

*hug hug*... hope u feel better later...