Wednesday, January 5, 2011
*** nice video that i wish to share here, nothing to do with my post below though***
recently had been caught in a lot of dilemmas...
a lot of changes coming up in my life. for better or for worse,
life will neva be the same again for me.
im not sure bout others, seems to me it's easier for them to
make a decision/ make a change when they believe it's time to do so.
(or it could be my selective abstraction in observing these)
but for me. it's always tough.
and it's gettin harder and harder for me to choose a path.
i've lost a lotsa confidence in me.
-the strength to believe in my own judgement.
-the strength to withstand bystander's opinions and assumptions
-the strength to take risk, to TRY and WAIT and SEE ( and/or TRY AGAIN)
-the strength to LET GO of unpick options..
i think the biggest problem in making a decision for me,
is to know that whateva i pick, there's another thing that i have to let go.
knowing that devastates me,
especially when we can never be sure where the option we chose might leads us to.
and we'll never know.
I NEED TO FIND MYSELF BACK AGAIN!
I DONT GIVE A DAMN IF PPL TEL ME AGAIN THAT I OVERESTIMATED MYSELF,
OR SAID ANYTHING THAT PULLS ME DOWN AGAIN
(which had been eating out my self esteem since then, oh no, not now, not anymore)
i want to have my vanity back, and some sense of insanity too!!
26 years of living : i found that no matter what you do, or what you dont do,
people stil have something to say bout you. so to hell kepochiss.
they just wipe their ass off after hurting you and there you are,
left wounded and shrunken like a tiny lil mimosa, CLOSING UP yaself.
ohya bout the ppl i've met in 2010.
- selfish leeches (those who comes to you when they needs you. and vanishes when they dont and uses ppl only for their own benefit.. yucksss)
-pretentious ( those who pretend to be like an innocent sweet angel but kiss my ass, her real self disgusts me a lot. but im glad, i wil soon say bye bye to ppl like YOU, oh you have the aforementioned characteristic too, congratulations)
-self defeating ones ( im one of them. lost before the battle. low low self-worth... fml)
-determined and visionary ( one that not only dreams but also execute their plans
-positive, vibrant and charming ( some guys and gals that i salute a lot)
-happy and energetic ( high levels of energy and always seems ready for challenges and chances!)
-friendly and genuine ( maintaing positive energy with the social system, gives and takes with sincerity)
-the go-ers ( believe in self and do whateva they believed in, even sometimes in the costs of other's disapproval and discouragement)
GUESS i have many role models for my inspiration!
2011. i wanna be a better person.
p/s i've made a list of tasks that i need to do:
some new year's resolution perhaps. **coming up in next post**
(oh. speaking about last year's resolution, i think out of so many of them,
i've only achieved ONE, Shame on me, Caren :(
anyway. wil sum up last year's ups and downs, in my next post too, so see ya'al
Tuesday, December 14, 2010
sneaked out with jingyen and yun the other day to Pavi for Jap food.
This was supposed to be our ladies-out but then we met another member @esprit pavillion, name:
Datin Kenneth. after tellin him that we're going for jap food, he suggested this place ( the jap cafe/restaurant which we planned to go at the 1st place)
>> a Japanese Cafe located in Wisma Cosway just besides Pavillion.
|i forgot why they did this but it's cute to see both of them doing something silly|
|i was bit shy/scared to take photos as i stereotyped japanese as being fierce and that i have to follow to imaginary rules ( oh, one of my cognitive distortions again, arbitrary inferences)|
|dint know that there's this cozy warm lil place in Malaysia, well i dont feel like im in Malaysia when i was in this restaurant.|
As a sushi fanatic, i was shocked to know that they do not serve sushi here in this JAP RESTAURANT.
how come???? never mind, i'll order something else (hmmmpppffff... bu4-gan1-yuan4)
|cute original japanese menu, written in japanese language ( which we dont understand) so i can only order by looking at the scarce pictures and their respective prices|
|kenneth said the jap love to have this "natto" to go along with their beer.|
well to us, ladies " err... it tastes..........'unique' " till i dont know how to describe.
|Spagetti served in Mentaiko sauce *loves their potato salad!*|
|food here is not bad, but i enjoyed more in the environment plus company of great friends, another day worth spending.|
*cos we impulsively headed to @live at sunway pyramid that night :D teeheehee, photos soon!
one fine evening, i suddenly craves for crab ( er.. i mean, as always la. ) thus suggested to have steamboat near my place @ setapak. Yao agreed *hurray* still, i dont think he understands how much i love eating crabs *Moans in pleasure**
|'must-order' in steamboat|
|i love their refreshing sea coconut-longan drink :) not too sweet, great for quenching thirst after ya sinful tomyam soup|
Anyway im gonna skip thru all the boring meatballs/fishballs/U.F.Os/veges/prawns/etc
after tossing the crab into nothing but zee tasty soup (clear, not tomyam as tomyam soup will override the original flavos of the crab), the soup becomes sweeter in taste, excellent for cookin ya bihun/yeemee/egg as the finale.
|the al-mighty juicy scrumptious Cheliped (my fav part of the crab) !! yao gave this to me because it's larger!|
|as compared to his --> pathetically small. after swallow also bo-ra-sa!|
im so hungry now, gonna post some long overdue photos to visually satisfy my cravings.
how cruel.. but my thigh is gettin bigger each second, i cant afford to take in more sinful delicacies. T-T
|i have so many photos of him lookin at the menuS.|
|just in case you wanna know where it is|
|he is forever shy, shawn, The Brada!|
|not my best pic. i look old in this, (tired and super duper hungry fttmax)|
|yao's beef Pho Tai,|
i love beef but i've promised GuanYinMa in Krabi that i wont take beef anymore, hoping that she would love me more and more...
|loads of greens *MAX Love*|
|sharing this with didi, vermicelli bowl/ Bun Thit Nuong Cha Gio ( as if you know how to pronoune *roll-eye*)|
|this is superduperorgasmicsinfullydeliciouxtothemaxo.m.g.|
Cream Blended Avocado with ice cream and nata de coco.
my FaV > the avocado dessert mentioned above, every drops of it sent me to heaven!