grieving another lost of.....

it's been a long while i havent blog about some

not-so-sweet-things that happened to me.

my life has been great all these while.

this kind of feeling best metaphored by something

like this--->

"while im starting to masticate the sweetness of citrus,

i accidently bite on its bitter seeds..and the taste of it all went wrong

in that spur of moment."

i am totally devastated these days.

misplacing something i shouldnt have lost,

something indispensable.

something vital

something exigent.

or whatever you called it urgent.

i searched and hunted all over the place but to no avail.

tears and grumble, comfort of love ones were of no help

in easing the pain and guilt i have now.

that thing was so damn important to me.

or, i should say to everyone else especially to me.

i need it urgently.

really (teeth grinding~~~)

can my prayers be heard and thus find back that precious thing?

i dreamt of it for several nights.

i thought.. it should be somewhere here,

no.. it should be placed there...im not sure.

my nerves already got my brain, to create certain

unwanted illusions, false memories related to that thing.

m losing my sanity... i suppose.

is the power of "the law of attraction" omnipotent enough to bring

back that lost object of mine?

sorry to those who care.

it's not that i dont want to stand up again on my feet

and move on instead of squatting on the same position i fell,

mourning, and groaning about the lost and pain i had.

it's just that..

it's not easy for me.

it's not easy to be.. me.

grieving the lost of....

what happened these few weeks were tad complex for me
as i was weighing whether i would willing to lose my enamoured long nails
so as to learn something i long for since a very long time,
or to keep my sweet sweet claws and thus forever stay away from string instruments.

So choose one below
a. Long nails or violin class?
b. Violin class or long nails?

Choose one of these below too
c. An elegant violinist with short ugly nails
d. Or a woman with long elegant nails but could never touch any string instrument

see, what's a woman without her long nails.
you know what, if you are keeping those nails long,
you would understand that your body language, posture etc changes as well.
because you need to be gentle and soft at all times to avoid hurting 'em.
see..

i love this very much, looks inobvious but nevertheless sweet.

alright.

my fingers were born to be blunt and stupid( i dont know whether this is the right description but they do looks stupid)

so, without long nails, my fingers would look 5.256 x 10 99 ( in words : five point two five six times ten to the power of ninety nine) times uglier and stupid-ier.

argggggggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh.... finally, i made a tough decision.

and thus typing this post of grieve.

lamenting over the lost of my beloved nails.

my nails lomy nails again lo

alright i should stop all the mourns and start introducing my new baby-------------->

since im still a newbie, no point for me to post any disturbing vlog of

torturing this new friend.

till

im ready to hao-lian( show-off), i'll post my very own ...haha. deal?
m listening to lots of lucia micarelli's songs now.. damn nice i del you.

she's pretty, gorgeous, sensual, talented..

arww....

ok, back to me practicing.... =P (ohya, with my ugly short nails, i play better piano too. i hope this would make me feel better.................................)

jay~bee~

it's been a long while darlin yao yao stuck his butt here in kay-ell, acting more like a KL-ian compared to the local me... not fair, i lost my way in KL too often, and he's often the one leading me, showing which way i should go, which bus to take, which turn to make, which station for lrt n monorails... thought he might miss his original habitat, i proposed we should have a vacation back in his hometown. so, on one fine friday we headed south.

the more-than-5-hours-bus-trip kills me everytime. im not keen on long travel by public transport. it makes me ill and giddy, causing nausea n migraines, i dont wanna niggle on those details, you see?.

we reached at about 6 somethin.. waited for his parents to close their photo shop. and rushed for dinner. his parents brought me to a place where his mom calls it " fei1 tian1 yun2 tun1 mian4" in english----> fly sky wantan mee. yes, literally, the mee is flewn up vertically by the hawker whom i salute him as 'sifu', till it almost or already touches the ceiling, and plunged down, collected precisely by a bowl and then served to us...
sounds inhygiene? try not to think too much while eating out in mamak or stalls.
as chinese sayings mentioned "big germs digest small germs"
whos to know who processes your food and how and why and what goes into your delicious meals even you're in a damn high end restaurants?

after that "family reunion" dinner. (as yao havent had dinner with his parents for god knows how long), yao brought me to this romantic place...~ danga bay~(as it's been awhile since we last pak-toh dy... haih.. no thanks to our hectic schedules)

tada!

found a nice spot for us to make out, er.. i mean chill out.
it's named blue bayou... nice atmosphere.soft breeze from the beach.. had some beer. some old hunk sings while playing on his guitar. it was damn damn relaxing and comfy. i didnt wanna go back. that old hunk's voice is just damn mesmerizing. m totally in love with this place. the guards in the zoo aint efficient enough.. u see the one left unlocked?my mexicana hat~ oi oi o. mistress potato.. the ship in which yao's friend had their wedding dinner on. romantic hor?
but those guests who turned up late would be sad lo. cos i heard that the ship boards on time.
imagine me wearing wedding gown, and my carelessness n stupidity caused me to slip and fell and there goes another rose. i'll think of another awesome venue for my wedding which is more safe-concerned. on a jet? may i? or in spaceship? what bout sub?
saturday morn~
i was awake the whole night before. had insomnia...
anyhow managed to drag myself to have breakfast with yao and family
we had yao's 2nd wife----> kueh-tiao-kia.
could hardly find this in KL. let me know if you guys knew a place which serves this.
as a newbie to keuh-tiao-kia, i learnt to like the taste of it because of yao.
would like to try it again and again whenever im in jb.

then we headed to a hill. and this aint any ordinary hill,
according to yao's father this is bukit bendera, or somesort of kite hill.
such a coincidence these ppl up there are having the "international kite festival"
many countries participate in this.. japan, aussi, us, germany, etc.. i dunno. i think so.

see the lamp post? it's malaysian traditional kite--wao. Wao is not wow, though it's pronounced as wow. but it aint anything that you would wow at.
my fav kite with that flirty expression was aftering the kite beside, asking for msn add gua, i supposed.hmm.. should i get a better cam?
found that the pics in my blog aint as interesting as how i described them to be.
as you can see below, it's like the underwater world. we have mr. sotong the squid, and ms. cuttlefish, lil nemo, mr. too-cute-for-a- shark, octopus and sea horse.. well it aint clear here in the pic.. my fault.that sperm-like thingy is supposed to look more like a cobra.
see that ED tiger? (yes im refering to erectile dysfunction)
took quite a long time to rose from the ground. and to the max, the mighty tiger stil cant find his way up, thus this half-sleep-half-meditate-posture.
oo.. another fav of mine.. see this line? look closer.. it's actually made of made small kites tied adjacent to each another.. (cuttle-fish-look-alike) this is from korea.
it formed a ladder way up to the stratosphere. i think this was designed as such inspired by the famous koread soap drama--- stairway to heaven?
lil frog turned up under the sea~that two lil red thing looks like rambutans which hairs had just been shaved.no idea whether this is consider as a kite or else.
yet yao adore it so much that he decided a transplant.nothing special bout this nemo skin, it's merely used as a background so as the colors of my dress stands out. saturday afternoon.. we had this famous mee rebus near...........xxxxx (dementia? amnesia? ... i forgot the place, it's somewhere near the customs.. near to my friend (lilo and fion)'s high school, based on tour guide--yao.
delicioux!
im not sure it's due to the food, or my hungry pangs..

on the last day (sunday), we went to jusco!! .. jusco in jj kinda huge, compared to the tiny mini humble lil alpha angle jusco here in wangsa maju. it was uncle's birthday so..
we had lunch in manhattan........ manhattan's fish market.
i cant remember what name of the dish we ordered.. but it's flaming something XXXX.. and other platters.. as always, i love the food here, as much as i love their mocha.
taste great!!

i was very much inclined to this...such a sweet n lovely vintage window display, xiangyao's friend own this florist shop..im totally in love with it.

the most valuable things in yao's room ---> yao's collection of................something which would hardly relates to him. i bet he havent read any 10 of these..

and i think his many years of collection was for me. ahem~

anyhow this is his real passion~

so yao got infected by my contagious disease--> cam-whoring in front of the mirror.

notice yao's dog (by the way, his name is sei2 ye1, in english---> bastard, nop.. er.. i dunno how to translate, it's rather mean)

happily got myself some new miniatures..im having more and more miniatures in my collection.

used it for expressive therapies... used it in my class, used it for my students' activities... they like em so much. as i told you before symbols, or miniatures/ figurines are powerful tools in psychotherapy. ppl identifies with these symbols as representation of themselves of someone they know and kinda project their emotions, thoughts onto em. recieved many positive feedbacks in using this as part of counseling sessions. (maybe i should post more bout my symbols/figurines/miniatures here in my blog to hao-lian (show-off) to you guys.

my fav-->

packed up and headed back to Kay-el again.

m so lazy to work.

v ' 09

due to a gigantuan hole burnt in his pocket for our '08 christmas eve.

we decided to have some sweet home-cook food for this year's valentine.

reminiscing our celebration for a few years' valentine's day:

'07 he sang love song to me in front of other club members during our club activity, when i was still the chairperson of the club. damn wierd feeling but nevertheless sweet and touching

'08 went melaka, one day trip. it was sweet too.. see how high we soar?

photos here..

'09 valentine's day..

bought some wine .. oooh.. my reason to live in this world.

haha.. see, the mighty butter prepared a 5-course dinner for yaoyao..

he helped a lot in scrubbing those stubborn stains on the wok too!! it was gross, thus my nails were very well protected.

LE MENU DU JOUR

***************

Grilled salmon marinated with mixed herbs and whiskey

topped with lemon slices and horseradish

Chicken thigh marinara served with

sizzling black pepper sauce

mixed vegetable soup with oriental herbs and anchovies as base

served with small shells

tricolore pasta spirals fucilli in bolognaise sauce

cooked with jalapeno pepper slices and crab filament

french baby potato and cherry tomatoes salad

***********

the wine that goes with these meals

canada's Icewine.

i had a friend who told me, chilled wine is better than ice wine what?

aiyo~ ice wine is not wine with ice cube la.

Ice wine = (or icewine, as one word, or in German, Eiswein) is a type of dessert wine produced from grapes that have been frozen while still on the vine. The sugars and other dissolved solids do not freeze, but the water does, allowing a more concentrated grape must to be pressed from the frozen grapes, resulting in a smaller amount of more concentrated, very sweet wine. With ice wines, the freezing happens before the fermentation, not afterwards. Unlike the grapes from which other dessert wines, such as Sauternes, Tokaji, or Trockenbeerenauslese (dunno what the heck are these), are made, ice wine grapes should not be affected by Botrytis cinerea, or noble rot. Only healthy grapes keep in good shape until the opportunity arises for an ice wine harvest, which in extreme cases can occur after the New Year, on a northern hemisphere calendar. This gives ice wine its characteristic refreshing sweetness balanced by high acidity. When the grapes are free of Botrytis, they are said to come in "clean". Due to the labour-intense and risky production process resulting in relatively small amounts of wine, ice wines are generally quite expensive.

to recapitulate: these wine are great!!!!!!!

im totally in love with'em.

taste sweet at 1st then gradually ends with a fragrant crispy citrus-y taste, sweet yet stil high in acidity. this wine satiates all the nerve ends in my tongue with distinctive sense of young yet elegant indulgence.. life is great with these around.

apart from these romantic lil things we had. the funniest part is,

we shared the space with another couple, ka fai and dai shou.

so when we dine using the japanese type of table (lower table) and sitting on the floor, they were just adjacent to us, siting in chairs and using a much higher table..

it's so wierd but fun!!!! hahaha..

so we pretend like couples in those high end dining hall, who dint know each another.

as yaoyao just format his pc, we can hardly retrieve back those lists of romantic songs.. out of desperate, he found "unchained melody" and then repeat it over and over again.

suddenly, our dinner became more formal and serious.. hahahaha.

after the temptious meal, we lit up some tea-candles (remained in my drawer..)as well as aromatic candles,

indulged in those remaining wine in my room,

sipping it bit by bit.

chatting about those old days we had together..

those bittersweet memories,

and the crazy things we did..

all by the candle light, albeit the small numbers of em.

not long before my other housemates reaches home and laugh at us.
haha...happy valentine my darl,

though you're not rich nor handsome, not taller nor wiser,

you are the only man i trust with all my heart and soul.

for not wanting or demanding from me.

though im not pretty nor sexy (ahem.), not gentle nor considerate enough,

always careless and emotional,

you take me for who i am, love me and protect me out of no conditions at all.

and i've been learning from you each and everyday.

learning to love myself like how you loved me,

learning to cherish you like how you treasured me.

........ it's been a long while i dint tell you...

.. that i love you..

...... and you're still the one my heart beats for...